Breathe deeply.
Relax your shoulders.
Come standing up.
Legs together.
Raise your elbows, bend the knees, legs three feet apart.
-Joe, it's Lucy. -Long waist. Lengthen.
Pickup the phone. Go on, pickup the phone.
I’d love to talk to you before I go.
Go where?
It's a nuisance you're no there, big brother.
-Inhale. Come all the way up. -Call me. It's the black sheep here.
Legs together.
-Arms by your side. -I love you madly.
Lift the elbows, bend the knees, legs wide apart.
Arms over head.
Right foot in, left foot out. Inhale, exhale.
Bend.
Keep breathing.
Inhale all the way up. Other side, left, right.
Arch your middle back. Lift from the waist.
Inhale.
America, could you just...?
-Sorry. -Thank you, America.
Long arms.
Downward dog.
-Good boy, Otis. -Good boy.
Breathe deeply.
I have Dr. Harmon calling for Sally Therrian. Please call the office
at your earliest convenience. The doctor's available till6p.m.,
and then tomorrow from9 a.m. until about one.
Hello? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here.
And?
So I'm okay.
That's good.
No, I feel fine.
All right.
Thank you very much.
That's it. Keep breathing.
Buttock away from the wall.
No luck.
Oh, well. We'll just have to try again.
Sound like a plan?
And come down.
Come on to your backs.
Final twist.
Open your arms.
Happy anniversary, baby.
Happy anniversary.
Change sides.
Be careful because they break easily,
these arums.
Goodbye, Mother of Heaven,
Mother of the Saviour,
goodbye, goodbye, goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye...
What?
You didn't kiss anyone else's knees, did you?
Did you?
I missed that.
I missed all of you.
We're okay, aren't we?
We're great.
I mean, you're really, really back?
For good.
Oh, shit.
-Don't get it. -Oh, I have to.
It may be Clair. They're threatening not to come.
They can't find a sitter.
I'm just...
Hello?
Excuse me?
Hold on. No, no, no, just...
Hold on a second.
It's Skye Davidson. She needs directions to the house.
You invited Skye fucking Davidson to our anniversary party?
I'm sorry. I meant to tell you. It's the only chance I had to meet her.
You invited Skye Davidson. I didn't even invite my mother.
Look, Sally, I'm sorry. She goes on location tomorrow.
I can't keep her on hold.
No, of course not. I mean, Skye fucking Davidson for fuck's sake.
-You want me to uninvite her? -No.
I mean, how old is she? Twenty fucking two? She's a stinking
fucking actress, for fuck's sake!
Skye, hello.
Yeah, it's at six actually.
Oh, you read the novel again?
No, well, the end of chapter six, it's just not filmic.
I mean, we did try it in an earlier draft, but it's not filmic.
Of course we can look at it again, yeah.
Okay, if you’re coming from Laurel,
you go west to Sunset, and then past Will Rogers State Park,
and then go up about three-quarters of a mile
and it's a big white thing on the left. That's us.
Well, no. I'm sure they are well-behaved. I'm sure they are.
But it's just all our friends have dogs
and if they all brought them, we'd be outnumbered,
so we've sort of put a ban on it. Sorry.
Well, I'm really looking forward to meeting you too, Skye.
And I'm thrilled that you're willing to make this leap with me.
-Eternally grateful, actually. -I'm going to throw up.
I can't imagine anyone else playing Jenna.
Really?
-I want to be here early for Sally. -You were screaming at me.
-So? You always scream at me. -She's probably not even up yet.
-You're early. -We're so early. Sorry.
-You have to sign your taxes anyway. -Of course we do.
And you can never be too early or too thin. How're you?
-I'll take that. -Happy anniversary, buddy.
-Six months ago who'd have thunk it? -Yeah, well not me, to be honest.
Don't fuck up again. It's a ripple effect. Sally suffers we all suffer.
-Would you like some champagne? -Lovely.
-We closed. -Fantastic. Come outside.
The house looks beautiful.
Those water lilies are
beautiful.
Joe officially owns number 4, Cheyne Walk, Chelsea, London, England.
You're a genius. I love you.
Well, yes, I suppose I am.
That's quite a gift. I'm not sure it's in your best interest.
-I adore him. -The realtor'll be here tomorrow.
This house has to insure the London flat. What you earn has to double to
cover expenses in London.
We only made half your quote this year.
-Well, you're a tower of support. -I'm sorry.
I worry because, you know, you don't.
Besides, I'm feeling guilty.
I would've liked it if you’d waited until you two were on solid ground.
-We are on solid ground. -Whatever you say.
Listen I love you.
Otis! No
barking!
Joe's huge in Europe. He's like a rock star in London.
-His novels sell millions. -Not millions.
-He's directing now. -They're paying him scale.
He gets huge advances on his novels. You know how much he hates it here.
There's still time to undo all of this.
We're gonna be fine.
I love gifts. What did you get us?
You can exchange it.
Well, good.
Congratulations on the deal.
How exciting.
Is Sally doing Sally?
I mean, it's Sally, isn't it?
The character that's based on Sally.
-The character in the book. -The novel.
No. Skye Davidson's playing the lead.
Oh, my God. I'm a huge Skye Davidson fan. She's very beautiful.
Yeah, she is.
But I'm right, yes? It's based on Sally?
It's a novel.
Oh, well...
-Let’s drop it. -Yeah.
Did you invite them?
The Roses.
-And of course they said yes. -That was the plan.
And you're thrilled they're coming.
-Whatever you say. -Did you tell Joe to behave?
-Did he promise? -Scout's honor.
Oh, here, before I forget.
Put this on your bookshelf.
-You are out of your mind. -Just do what I'm telling you.
How much bowing and scraping do you expect us to do?
It beats a lawsuit.
Is your script... is it much like the novel?
Jerry says it's very good.
But you know, you read the novel, and then you see the movie,
and most of the time you're like, "What's this?" You know?
'Cos I sometimes feel we're better off not reading the novel at all
because we come up with these expectations and then
of course, we know how it's going. Don't you find?
Don't I find what?
Now, you know Jerry.
-Good to see you. -Happy anniversary.
-Hey, beautiful girl. Beautiful. -You, I know.
Yes, I know. I've heard.
Jack, you promised.
Don't get shy.
I recognize love.
Happy anniversary
to Sally and Joe.
We're glad Joe came home,
don't split up again,
because we like the food.
-Jack, did you write that yourself? -Absolutely.
-Did you have any help at all? -Absolutely not.
It has your ring.
-You've met Judy? -Julie.
-We've met before. -It's Judy.
Congratulations, by the way, man. Really warranted.
-He thought so. -The Academy Award you just won?
Although we never watch 'cos Sally always gets robbed of those things.
Enough about me.
Evie has a little something for you.
Oh, you got another present?
-Yes, you do. -I don't think so.
Oh, since when are you so shy?
Never, honey.
Oh, honey.
We have all sorts of surprises for you. Where is America?
-The kitchen. I'll take you to her? -Actually, I'll find her myself.
I have a little talking to do with her.
-Who'd like to go and find Otis? -Me!
-I guess. -I guess.
Oh, the infamous dog.
-Big bad dog.
-They're coming. Not my idea. -It's ours.
-Yeah, it's Jerry's worst idea. -One of my better ideas.
-What? -The neighbors from hell.
The kind that lay in wait. I'd rather move, actually. Wouldn't I?
-Wouldn't I? -Yes, you would.
Okay, you two. The last one to find Otis is a smelly old bum. Come on.
Hello, you two.
Evie, Jack, these are
are the people who live next door.
Say hello.
-Hi. -Hi.
-Hey.
Oh, Jack, could you close the door, please?
Because if we leave it open, you know what will happen?
Otis will run outside and go into their back yard and he'll bark
and bark, and then
he'll eat their pit bull for his dinner.
Is it a pit bull?
I thought this was a party. Are we gonna talk about the dog thing?
Ryan, please.
-What? -Don't start.
No, no, no, you're right. You're right.
He's right. Hello.
-Hi. -How do you do?
-Yeah, dog talk is banned. -Great.
Canine conversations are completely discouraged.
Can I get you a drink or something?
Not for me. Thanks.
Something soft?
You sure you wouldn't like something soft, Ryan?
Yeah, I'm sure.
Okay, let's get them a drink, shall we?
I didn't start anything. Don't act like I'm...
-Monica and Ryan? -Sally?
-Hi. -Hi.
And you met Joe.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Well...
I'm so glad you decided to come.
Oh, we could hardly say no.
Oh, thank you.
-Give that to me. -I know.
-Oh, thanks. -This was so unnecessary. Come in.
I hope you noticed that Otis isn't barking as much. We've kept him in.
Well, at four thirty today,
he barked for a solid fifteen minutes. I have it on tape.
Oh, you're keeping a record, are you?
Well, it's just very distracting when you're trying to work.
-Ryan. -I'm sure you understand.
The neighborhood's full of dogs. It's not always Otis.
I know. Today it was Otis. Yeah, you should keep him out of our yard
because Sheila will defend herself.
-Ryan. -Uh, come. Sit.
Are you working on a new book?
Yeah, actually.
You know, he always has two or three going.
Really? Because Joe can't manage more than one at a time.
With huge gaps in between.
-You guys lose something? -There's our snookums now.
Yeah, well, I haven't won a Booker either. Or a Whitbread.
-The gate was open. -The gate was open?
-It's sorted out. How you doing? -Hey, How are you?
You know, I think Ryan's outgrown his publisher.
You know, they're just... They're not doing their job.
Hors d'oeuvres or something?
Yes, great.
-The house is beautiful. -Oh, thank you.
I understand you're an interior decorator.
I so wish I'd known.
Well, whoever did this is amazing.
I did it. Oh, bo.
Good boy. Where can I put these?
-Oh, not there. -Oh, God. What a fucking day.
I only just got a fucking sitter. I don't
know her from fucking Adam. She could be a serial killer. We have to
call every ten minutes. You have to let me give out
-the number. -She already has.
-That's okay, right? That's okay? -Well, of course, it's okay.
Clair's a hovering mother.
No, I'm not.
-Monica and Ryan, Clair and Mac. -Hi.
-How you doing? -How are you?
Nice... Oh, and for us. Truly.
...you'll never know.
I have a 4.30 a.m. call, so we're gonna have to leave a little early.
-Why didn't you bring him? -What? What?
Why didn't you bring him?
Because he's allergic.
Yes, to Otis. To dander.
-Didn't I face off? -Well, probably.
Well, they can tell from the eyelashes.
He has eyelashes yay long.
They must be a foot long, his eyelashes.
And I guess
the older you are when you have a baby, the more likely that stuff is
to crop up. Or so they tell me.
Not soon enough, of course.
How are you, Sal?
How are you? How are you? You look fantastic.
Having a baby changes everything. It changes your whole perspective.
Doesn't it, Mac?
You can't be the center of your own world anymore.
Well, it's an object lesson in grace.
There he is. Look who's here.
Excuse me. Cal calls.
-Hi, Mac. How are you? -How you doing, Jerry?
Well, well, well. Look who's on time for a change. It's my leading man.
Have your studio start paying me my price and I'll start being on time.
Oh, is that what it takes?
Yeah. I don't believe it. You didn't. You fucking didn't.
This is their anniversary. Is nothing sacred?
You bring dailies to a party? It's a party.
-How was I in the fucking thing? -I'm overworking.
You were so fucking funny in the kitchen scene.
-Take three? -The little silverware incident?
-You gotta use take three. -Nothing you do is an accident.
...second okay? I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
-Great. Okay. -Okay.
Okay.
Thanks, Sally.
Sure.
Anyway...
I didn't plan it. I set up the possibility for it. You're the guy
who plans fucking shots up my fucking nose. You know,
these are not the windows of my soul. These are.
...I feel in an hour, so that I have something...
-...a printer -Maybe his desk.
-Yeah. -Well...
Hi.
Hi. How are you?
-I'm the hired help. -Ooh. Fuck you.
-I never put myself in harm's way. -Uh, not anymore.
-No, not anymore. -Happy anniversary, scout.
...they've all vowed if we get dicked around, we'd steal something.
-I'm tired... -Yeah, that makes it okay.
If they give us the job, we give them back.
-Hey, how are you? -I'm really glad
you guys came. Are you sure you don't want something to drink?
My God. America just told me that the neighbors are coming?
And here they are.
And she was just saying how happy that you were to finally,
finally have them over, because you two are so...
You're so introspective and... shy and
-you know. -Yeah.
You should have done it ages ago.
Welcome. I'm Sophie Gold. Would you like to meet my husband, Cal?
Cal Gold?
-The very one. -Yes, I'd be thrilled.
Oh, well, then, he'll be thrilled, won't he?
She is such pure evil.
-Happy anniversary. -Thank you for coming.
-Will you help me with this stuff? -Yeah.
Hey, is that for us?
Your mother always said you were a very clever child.
-Can I open it? -Aye-yi-yi.
-Sally? -Please?
Well, go on, then. You're fucking impossible.
Oh, Gina.
It's beautiful.
-Really, really beautiful. -I'm glad you like it.
Oh, I love you, Gina Taylor.
-Look at this little face. -Little creature face.
You're so sweet. It reminds me of Morocco. You remember...
...with that donkey?
Oh, that was so fun.
Don't move.
-Even before they had it at Diva. -Really?
Yeah, it's a beautiful table.
If you need any work done, you know...
Oh, yeah. You know, I should give you my card.
Oh, yeah. You know we're...
-You got starbuck finder? -Starbuck finder. Absolutely.
Oh, shit.
My office. Hold on. Hello? Yes, Frank. Sorry. No... Yes...
He can call me on Monday.
-Honey, it's close. -Yes.
-Thank you. -I don't want it.
You look so well, Clair. A wraith.
You think so?
I've been working out a lot since the baby and I've been working too.
Oh, I know. I'm glad that that's all over for me.
You... don't miss it?
Never.
Really?
-Not even for a second. -Really?
Cal can have all that?
So... where's young Jonah?
With a sitter. He's with a sitter.
A sensational sitter. We really love her. She's like a second mom really.
Jonah's really comfortable with her.
She's amazing with kids.
Great.
Oh, God. What...? What is it?
-What's wrong? -It's my... my beeper.
It's so that the sitter can always reach me.
Because I'm not used to leaving him alone now yet.
You should have brought him.
No, he's allergic to dander. To Otis.
Oh. Yeah. Do you have any pictures?
I don't have any pictures now. They're in my tote, and my tote,
it's in my trailer, so I don't have any pictures. But he's Mac.
He is Mac all over again.
Imagine Mac two and a half feet tall. That's...
That's Jonah.
They probably didn't even need me for this birth.
-You are so funny, Clair. -No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
You think so? You know what? I can't think.
I can't think how you gave it all up, Soph.
I'm... Are you okay, Clair?
I'm fine. Don't worry about me. You worry
about...
-I'm okay. -Okay.
Oh, God!
The dog! The dog.
Yeah, I know.
It sounds hysterical, okay? But Otis rubbed up against me, and
I'd like to change into something of yours. You don't understand.
He's so allergic, it's terrifying.
Just borrow whatever you like.
Okay, I'll, I'll, I'll change back right before we leave.
Whatever you like.
I'm afraid it's all gonna be too-too big for you.
Are you all right, Clair?
I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm just a little stressed, okay?
And I've been taking pills to get my weight down since the baby.
Well, I'm... I'd say it was down.
Oh, and the doctor said they might make me a little jumpy.
I got a ghastly
-headache, actually. -Do you want a Tylenol or something?
I'd love a Xanex. You know what, Sally?
Please don't tell Sophia that I'm not breast-feeding.
-Why would she care? -You know her, she's so judgmental.
And she's so damn perfect and so fucking serene.
Just don't fucking tell her, okay? 'Cos I can feel Mac comparing and...
Just don't fucking tell her.
-You gotta lay off the pills, Clair. -Don't tell her.
-It's not gonna come up. -Okay.
-Panes. How are you? -Well, you know, I am.
-Has she called? -She'll never call again.
She called me last week to tell me she'll never call again.
-Where's Sally? -Here I am.
Hey. Hello. Oh, good, you brought your violin.
-I want you to play. -Actually it's a killing machine.
-Are you lovesick? -Suicidal. Much less codependent.
-Will champagne help? -Not enough.
-Panes is here, everybody. -Oh, great.
Panes.
-Hello. -Skye.
Hi. You're Joe. See, I recognize you from the book jacket.
How do you do?
Oh, I love that. Oh, I'm just
great. I'm so happy to be invited,
and I... I apologize for invading.
But I'm really happy that you asked me to.
I'm just really touched because I know how private you and Sally are.
Oh. Well, yes. It's just us and a few hundred of our closest friends.
You know, when I read you work, I felt as if you know me, you know?
I mean, women must tell you that.
But this one in particular really, really speaks to me, you know?
I mean, I am Jenna. God, women must tell you that all the time.
And the script. God, it's wonderful.
It's wonderful and, and, and lean and visual.
Well, I'm so happy you like it, and
I'm so relieved you said yes.
And I'm so, so... What am I? I'm...
Yes, actually, I am. I'm... thrilled to finally meet you, Skye.
Yeah, well, you're gonna be a remarkable director.
A brilliant director.
I think you're my first goddess.
-I can't believe that bitch is here! -You don't know she's a bitch.
Are you blind? She was all over him.
-Could be worse. -How?
Well, she could be playing the part in Joe's movie that should be yours.
And fuck you.
You see? That's worse.
I just... I just wanted tonight to be just the people that we love.
Like your business managers?
-Not just business managers, Panes. -Okay,
forgive me. Your neighbors are here,
-for fuck's sake. -Exactly! It's all ruined.
It's not all ruined, for fuck's sake. It's one of your parties.
I don't want it to be just one of our parties.
"And how are you doing, Panes?" "Lousy,
-thank you. I'm falling apart." -Like last time.
No, it's not like the last time.
She was the rest of my life.
Like the last time.
I wasn't finished.
Okay.
"We can't stand seeing you like this, Panes. I hate you being alone,
so why don't you come stay with us for awhile?" "I’d love to. Thanks."
-It's our anniversary, Panes. -I didn't
-hear me say "tonight." -We're
just feeling our way back.
"Otherwise, we'd insist on you being here."
You know that's true.
-Sure. -Oh, I'm interrupting.
-Oh, I'll be right out. -Come on in.
I'm in the same room with Sally Nash.
Oh, my God. You are my icon.
I've been watching your movies ever since I was a little girl and four
years ago I followed you all around the Beverly Center
for, like, half a day, working up the courage to introduce myself.
I don't think I've ever spent a half day in the Beverly Center.
Oh, God, whatever. Do you... Do you remember?
I've seen all your movies,
and, and, you know, when I was in rehab the last time,
they wouldn’t let us watch your drug addict movie 'cos you were too real.
I worship you. And I just could not be more flattered because I know
that the part that I'm playing in Joe's movie is based on you.
I'm just overwhelmed.
And I really Anna do it justice. I'm hoping maybe we could spend some
time together and...
Oh, I'm gushing. It's my worst quality.
Not at all.
God. I'm really... I'm so rude. I'm sorry. I'm Skye Davidson.
I'm Levi Panes.
God, did anyone ever tell you you look like Peter Sellers?
No, never.
Would you excuse us, Skye? It's time for Sally's meds.
Oh, sure.
It was really nice meeting you again.
She remembers me.
Your wardrobe is incredible.
It took me forever to decide. And thank you, I found Dr. X.
You saved my life.
-Aw, shit. -I'd cut off her red wine.
Ah, shit. It's my Galiano.
No, Unfortunately...
I don’t eat meat, thank you.
Can I get you something else?
No, I'm fine.
-No, thank you. -Right.
Would you like to have some?
-What is it? -Would you like...? It's homemade...
Directing suits you.
Oh. I'm not so sure. Ask me again in three months.
Well, it must be nice having so many people kiss your ass all of a
sudden.
Ow. Gina, you obviously need to get fucked.
I just did.
Are you jealous?
And when does he graduate from school?
Oh. Very jealous.
You know, I saw Lucy when I was passing through London.
She seems like she's doing okay.
It's hard to tell with her, though.
Shit. I was supposed to call her. She called today.
She's going off on some trip somewhere.
-Yeah. -Oh, Gina.
My granddad's flat in London's been sold.
-The one on Cheyne Walk? -Oh, yeah.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Now Lucy's gonna have a meltdown.
Oh, yeah. I should've bought it.
But we can't afford it. And this film is taking up a year of my life.
-And I'm getting paid nothing. -You're complaining?
Yes. Yes, I am. Especially because you know how much Skye Davidson's
getting paid?
Four million.
But she gives a mean blowjob. It's like, no hands, incredible props.
I'm going to fuck... I know you want it.
So how are you really doing, Panes?
Why don't you go fuck yourself?
No, really. For real, really.
I'm worried about your Galiano.
You're a shit.
Hey, you hurt, you know. You're stronger than you think.
How's your movie?
-I don't wanna talk about it. -Why not?
I never like to talk about my work.
-Well, that's something new. -No, it's not
-something new. -Well,
-something's wrong. -No, nothing's
wrong. It's...
Mac's a great director and what can anyone say about Cal, and
it's great working with friends. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm happy for you.
Thank you.
So how are you doing?
Oh, you know. No regrets.
No second thoughts.
Am I a monster?
You're my best friend.
Is that an answer?
Yes, you're a monster.
Thank you, Panes.
You don't have to thank me.
-Nine-tenths of... -Otie.
That's good boy. I wish you were a man.
He's so wonderful.
Nine-gig drive. And it's a Mac.
You can't get a lick of software for it.
That's such IBM propaganda bullshit. I can't believe your mouthpiece...
And they're coming out with a dual processor, so you're in the dust.
Yeah.
You're... And You don't have that inbred support staff.
You can get a support staff guy at the most.
Go away.
Let me.
-Thank you. -I'm Jeffrey.
-Monica. -And you know our friends how?
Uh, we live next door.
Oh, you're them.
Excuse me?
We've heard a lot about you?
-You have? -Where's the champagne?
It's right in here.
-A little close in there. -Yeah.
Your Eames table
is incredible. And the Axiom day bed. I just put that in a client's
home actually, but in cherry, red, in red.
Ah. You're an interior decorator, right?
Sally did all this by herself?
Yeah, in fits and starts and,
later she had to accommodate me so things shifted a little. Became more
eclectic. And it's still changing.
It says something about the two of you, maybe.
That we're in a constant state of flux?
Well, I see you've moved up from
the soft stuff.
Yeah, You know, Ryan's been sober for
eight years, so... it's difficult if I, uh...
It's better if I don't.
But I am a little nervous so... A little out of my element, you know.
-No, you're not. -Oh, well, yes. Yes, in fact.
I am a little on the outside. Yeah.
And there's been all of this friction.
These misunderstandings have away of escalating.
Very well put.
A lot of this could've been avoided if Sally had made more of an effort.
What?
But you're very private people.
You know, there's just sort of... there's a kind of elitism about...
Elitism?
Wrong word maybe?
Delete that. And, you know...
the dog barks incessantly.
-And you know, he really does not. -And Ryan works at home.
And your phone calls are nasty and abusive and I've come this close
to suing you for harassment, and the only reason
you are here is because we're supposed to be sucking up to you!
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
That's what Ryan thought.
I was a little more generous, actually.
Shit. I'm so sorry.
Just delete all of that, all right?
I'm a total fucking maniac.
Sorry, sorry.
Uh, I was talking on my behalf. This
needn't rub off on my wife. Sorry. Shit. It's just...
I'm worse than Otis. At least he doesn't bite.
You know. it's just...
I really love my dog.
And he doesn't bark all the time and we live in a canyon.
We hear dogs barking at night, and it's not Otis.
Please don't tell Sally.
All right.
-Easy, tiger. -All right.
All right.
Um... please don't tell Ryan that I've been drinking.
Scout's honor.
Uh... would you sign it for me?
I know I brought a pen and... I brought it.
Oh, here.
I know this isn't appropriate.
We're way past inappropriate.
I'll treasure this.
-I will. -I have to leave, you know.
Oops, sorry. Sorry.
Sally?
Panes.
-"From Jewish Folk Poetry." -Good.
Song cycle.
-What? -Trust him.
-It's Shostakovich. Hear of him? -Sandy.
-"The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle." -Good.
-Ryan? -I didn't know you had this.
Oh, yeah. It's, it's amazing.
You think you could maybe sign it for us?
Yeah, absolutely.
Here. Here.
Yeah. You always wonder where your books end up.
Hey, why don't we use this?
Good idea.
Yeah, there's not a chance in hell anyone will get it.
One at a time! Hold it down! One at a time!
-Cal, you're last. -Why am I last?
-Just because. That's show business. -The Katzenjammer Kids.
-Very good. -What's that?
Yeah. The funnies. You know, the Katzenjammer Kids.
It's my mother's favorite charades clue. No one ever gets it.
-Okay, I vote for that. -With aZ.
America!
Let's go. Let's play. Let's play.
-Who's timing? -I am.
-I am!
-Who's gonna go first? -Please be our guest.
No, you, my darling.
-all right. Panes in. -Come on, come on, come on.
-Whoo. Go. Panes. Go. -Should someone...?
And go!
What the hell is that?
-Stomach. Laughing. -What is it, Panes?
-What is it? -Hysterectomy?
-Funny? -Funnies.
-Funnies.
Katzenjammer Kids.
-Yes! -Wait. No, this can't go this way.
The husband's on the other fucking team.
I thought your wife was on our team, so what's the problem?
Should we...? Can we switch? Can we switch?
Take it easy, Jer. Take it easy. It's okay.
Go, Jerry.
It's your birthday...
-We need to establish rules. -Winning team.
No problem.
We're with you, we're with you. We're right here.
-Right here. -Fuck you.
-And, uh, fuck you. -And go.
Hey, would you?
-It's fifteen seconds. -I don't think so!
Are you always this much fun?
Hey, we all got fifteen seconds, but if you need more,
just go ahead and pad it.
-Okay, I'm on it. -Mime is money. Mime is money.
-Ready? -I'm ready.
-And... -Okay, okay, okay.
...go!
-A song. -Song!
A bicycle.
-Song cycle. -A sewing cycle.
Four words.
Second word.
Oh, beard.
Oh, bead. La barba. Barba.
-Wizened. -Come on, people! All right.
First... One syllable.
Shut up!
Shut up! Be quiet!
-One syllable. -One syllable.
-Schmuck! -Folk!
-Smock! -What? What? What? Folk?
"Folk" doesn't sound like "fuck."
-Listen, man. Fucking stop... -Come on, come on. You
-can do it. Come on. -Tell him to stop fucking yelling!
-Second word! -Penis.
Mexicans!
What is that?
-Beard? Writing? Penis? Cutting? -Penis folklore.
From... "From Jewish Folk Poetry!"
Yes!
The most racist... A yarmulke, a big nose, a circumcision.
-It was "circumcision." -"From Jewish Folk Poetry."
-Okay, who's next? Our team's next. -Bravo.
It's a song. It's a song cycle.
-And that is time. -What are
you on? Are you on the fourth word or the fourth syllable? Fourth word.
Judy, time. It's fucking time.
Jawohl! What are you, a fucking nazi, Jerry?
It's fucking time, baby.
Your leg. Nobody knows what you're doing. Your knee? Your ankle? What?
Just... okay, go to the second syllable. Go to the second syllable!
Would you just move on to
the fucking second syllable, you stupid cunt!
Just stop that.
That is so out of hand.
-Goddamn. -Are we playing
-or not? -That's lunch.
That's another buck twenty.
Shit. It's one of Cal's. Obscure Shakespeare, folks.
Come on.
-Ten words. -Twenty?
-Twenty-nine. -Twenty-nine?
Twenty-nine words?
It's so simple.
Give them the keyword.
First word.
No way!
God! What was that?
I have... I have no fucking idea what it is.
-I never heard of it in my life. -What the fuck was that?
Ryan's novel.
Ryan's novel?
Ryan's novel, Jerry.
Who the fuck is Ryan?
Let's have our victory meal now.
-Sorry I called you a cunt before. -I know.
I'm invited to a house of cheaters. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters.
I'm waiting for the leftovers.
-I need to get drunker. -No, no, no.
-Yeah. Thanks for nothing. -Fork.
-Hey, Astrid. -Hey, who won?
A triumph.
As usual.
When did you get here?
Just... I don't know. Ten, fifteen minutes ago.
-Yeah? Why didn't you come in? -I didn't feel like it.
-What a cute little dog. -Careful. She has jealousy issues.
Hello. Hi. Come in.
No, but that's not what I heard, Cal.
That's revolting, Astrid.
What I heard
was...
Is there space here?
Yeah.
Can I get you anything else? Food?
-You're okay? -I'm okay. Thanks.
That...
That was my clue, you know.
The Shostakovich thing?
Really?
-How did you know about that? -Oh, my God.
Not many people know about the Shostakovich.
I mean, yes, he was a fantastic composer, but...
And he had terrible dysentery, but still... He's not
that famous all the time. Which symphony do you like most?
Have you heard the one that goes boombidee-boombidee-boombidee
boom? The boombidee-boombidee-boom.
Part of our gift, honey.
A toast to Sally and Joe.
"Ah, let us be true to one another,
for the world, which dreams to lie before us like a land of dreams,
so various, so beautiful, so new,
hath really neither joy, nor light, nor love,
nor certitude, nor peace,
nor help for pain.
And we are here as on a darkling plain,
swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
where ignorant armies clash
by night."
Sally and Joe.
Evie and I have put together a little
balletic love poem in their honor.
"The ballad of Sally and Joe."
Ladies and gentlemen.
-Okay? -Yeah, I'm ready.
No, wait here.
Have you ever seen love like this?
Ever witnessed marital bliss?
There it is right in front of you.
Don't you wish you could have it too?
Sally and Joe going
six years strong.
What's the secret of your success?
Does it happen when
you undress?
Get it on in a major way.
-Making babies the natural way. -Baby, do it today.
-Make one, make one, make one. -Sally and Joe,
-do it, do it, do it. -Going six years strong.
Sally and Joe.
-Feels to good, it... -Do it, do it, do it.
...can't be wrong.
Wear a thong,
light up a bong. Bang a bong.
Do whatever it takes.
-Get it on. -Love is real.
Happy anniversary.
We love you. We love you.
And having lived with an actress now for six years,
I'm sure you'll find directing them a piece of cake.
So...
God bless both of you guys. And hopefully
Clair and I will be a shining example to you
for many years to come.
God bless.
We all know how very draining
it is when Sally is complaining,
when her mood
is grey or black.
I'm so happy that Joe is back.
I'm so happy that you started,
won't end two more brokenhearted,
I'm glad what’s busted could be fixed
in time to celebrate your sixth,
and if you're good, you'll make it to 25,
and if you’re lucky, you'll make it to the gold,
and if your love
is true, you'll still be together
when you're terribly old,
still be together when you're spindly and creaky,
and crinkled and senile
with bladders so leaky and old.
To only happy times, and to lots and lots and lots of money.
-Cheers. -Lots of good money.
We love you guys.
Sally, this is just for you.
Joe, you can go like this, okay?
And so can you.
Men just are...
Are just a lot of work,
and it's really hard.
And
you figure out the game,
and you play the game,
and you be strong.
And don't put up with any shit.
Here's to making it work.
-Six years. -Here's to shit.
Six minutes.
-Six hours. -Six eons.
This would be my phone bill. Okay,
for the better part of the last year,
I have received countless,
all-hour, heartbroken "I will never get over it"
transatlantic calls from my very
devastated, very cherished best friend, Joe.
But in typical Joe fashion, he would call me at the precise moment
when I wasn't at home and leave these excruciating messages.
When I got home, I would call him back right away
and we had some of the most
painful conversations I've ever had with anyone.
Like...
you know, he felt like he would never be able to love again
and he couldn't bear to be without Sally, or Otis and America. And
he wasn't eating, he could hardly sleep, and he could barely write.
And needless to say,
no conversation was under two hours.
And I just didn't have the heart after the first hour to say,
"Could you call me back? I'm calling London for crying out loud."
Because I knew that
should my life unravel, that you would be there for me.
But in case my life doesn't unravel,
I'm just gonna leave my phone bill here,
in case you wanna pay me back.
I mean, when I knew Joe as a young man,
he was very, you know, just lovely, delightful.
But with you...
Under your gaze, he's magnificent.
And it's that quality that
lets me know that you will be a magnificent mother.
And I truly wish that for you.
Just wanted to, you know,
to give our version of a toast.
We're not exactly, you know, talented, and, you know...
-You're the writer. Go. -Yeah, right. And all that.
You know, we just wanted to say how pleased we are and how very
happy, you know, we got a chance to come here and...
-Be part of this. -Right. And...
And I hope you'll like the gift.. It's not exactly...
you know, romantic,
but we thought that the dog collar
might be really helpful in silencing Otis
at those difficult times, you know, whatever...
It'll make... Maybe we can...
you know, ease what's happened between us.
-Thanks. -Congratulations.
For understandable reasons, I
did not receive
any of those phone calls.
And as I am
appreciative on one level,
I actually have mixed emotions about it being what
Joe and I have been through, both at Oxford and here in the States.
I'm happy for Joe, that he heeded my advice that he should go
find a nice, stable,
American actress to settle down with.
To the success of his book, his beautiful book.
And I learned tonight...
the green light on your film production.
That's wonderful. Congratulations,
And to Sally...
Who could ask for a more inspired muse?
And I'm sure that you're going to...
transcend Joe's first attempt at
an adapted screenplay, and be the most perfect,
most radiant Jenna.
Congratulations.
Hear, hear.
He doesn't know.
I really wasn’t prepared to say anything,
but I'm very honored to be
a part of tonight and in the same room with my favorite living actress
and my favorite novelist.
And this room is so filled with love.
And I brought a gift of love. I brought a gift that is
love.
Happy anniversary.
Thank you.
I think there are sixteen there, but...
What is it?
-Oh, wow, dolphins. That's great. -Dolphins?
It's ecstasy.
Thanks, Skye.
It's an amazing present. What a sweetheart you are.
It's late.
You sleepy, baby?
Gonna hit it.
I think we should take it tonight. Everyone who's staying stays.
-You know, I'm gonna go too. -You're not coming?
-Oh, Jeffrey, stay. -It's not my scene.
-Not your scene. All right then. -I love you.
But, wait... But no driving. That's the rule. Okay, everybody?
Sally-Mae, you're gonna love it. Gonna be fantastic.
I'm a little worried about my brain, and I'm worried about my spine.
You are gonna be okay. You're gonna love it.
Yeah, you see? Look, Sophia's gonna do it. Panes is doing it. Trust me.
Are you going?
-Yeah, you wanna come? -No, she's staying with me.
-She wants to come with me. -Good night, sissy.
Look at these. Look, everybody. Yeah!
I have a spine... Just a spine question.
America, America.
The food was so yummy.
I need a thing. Excuse me.
Ecstasy.
-What are you doing? -I wanna try it, Ryan.
-Here we go. -Okay, let's go.
Look what I've got? Water.
Give me a kiss.
I told you you'd like it, didn't I?
-Jerry, drink lots of water. -Oh, thank you.
Judy. Water.
Everybody, I've got water, and I've got chewing gum.
-Come to me if you need either. -I love it here.
Don't you love it here, Ryan? I love it here.
And I love tonight.
And I love these people.
This feels utterly fantastic, Ryan.
Utterly fantastic.
You know what Sally Therrian was saying about your spine and brain?
She didn't pull that out of thin air.
It causes brain damage.
So you better drink a lot of water.
Do you wanna go home, Ryan? I think you should then.
You should look in on Sheila.
I'm not gonna leave you here alone.
They're really nice people, Ryan.
They're like us.
They're nothing like us.
I think you need to speak for yourself.
But I think you're really nice people.
What the fuck?
Are you making an ass out of yourself?
You're the only one, Ryan.
You know what?
You're beautiful.
I love you so much.
-You need... -I don't need a drug.
You need a good review.
And you'll be fine.
The whole color of the world will change.
Mark my words.
Ready to go?
I'm gonna get my bathing suit.
Ryan? You're a great man.
Water's good.
Yeah, I have five diving batons...
and when I count to three, everybody's gonna dive in.
-You wanna dive for a baton? -The orange one is 50 extra points.
I'm playing too.
Hey, one, two, three.
So, do you have a D.P.?
Is that the cameraman?
Yeah, yeah, they gave me a list.
You got Skye Davidson.
I mean, that's pretty big-league for a first-timer.
Do you even like movies?
Not particularly. Weird, isn't it?
Oh, God. I am so up right now.
-Are you feeling it yet, Mac? -Yeah, kind of. Yeah.
I have to jump up and down a bit now.
So how's your film going?
Oh, it's going. It's going.
How's the diva?
Well, you know, good days and bad days.
No, I meant Sally.
Yeah, I meant Sally.
Isn't it a fabulous picture?
She's such a great photographer.
-She really gets him, doesn't she? -Both of you.
No, but she really gets to the heart of Joe, doesn't she?
She's a genius.
-So where should I put it? -I sort of liked it where it was.
-It's much more personal in here. -Oh, much more.
It's a notch above the storage room, I'd say.
-We spend so much time in here. -Now, how much do you hate her?
A lot. Okay.
Well, I don't trust her. I never have though.
You're crazy. She took our wedding photos, for Christ's sake.
-I mean, who do you trust? -I trust you.
You'll hate it in London. It's wet and miserable.
It's a medical hellhole. Sally, it's socialized, for God's sakes.
-There are beds in the corridors. -And the food sucks. I know, I know.
You are not gonna have your baby in... in London.
You're gonna have your baby here at Cedar's in Beverly Hills, America,
delivered by Dr. Milton Cohen, period.
You're gonna get that epidural right away.
Sally, listen, don't let anybody talk you into that Lamaze bullshit.
-There's no excuse for pain. -Sophia! I'm not even pregnant yet!
Well, good. Thank God.
Let's go in the kitchen and spy on everybody.
Oh, honey. Let's.
What do you mean, "Thank God"?
-Oh, you know what I mean. -No.
Yeah, this whole baby thing. Sure it's not the ticking clock crap?
No. I know I've always maintained that I never wanted children.
But this year I really, truly, feel ready, because it's not the clock.
I'm not worried about you, honey. You are gonna be a fantastic mom.
Joe, on the other hand, is a different story.
Joe loves kids. Joe needs kids. Joe... Joe thinks he wants kids.
Joe would like some playmates.
Sally, you know I love him. He's a sweetheart. Really.
But he's not gonna be a good father. He's not good parental material.
Let's go on the floor. I bet it feels so, so nice against your skin.
Stop trying to change the subject.
Oh, that feels so nice.
He's just narcissistic and
irresponsible and unreliable.
Oh, and Cal's this massive adult.
No, but Cal knows who he is. A big, stinking, fucking baby.
But did you notice how happy your husband was when the drugs came out?
You weren't exactly horrified, missy.
True. But I'm not a drug addict.
-Neither is Joe! -Well, his sister is, bigtime.
The New York Times said addiction is genetic. I'll e-mail the article.
I've enjoyed having this conversation.
Sally, you don't have kids to save a marriage.
Sally, Joe has been home for five months only.
We are fine.
We're great. We're moving to London and we are having a baby.
Well, you weren't fine last summer when you went Sylvia Plath on me
-in Connecticut. -Not nice. Not kind.
Ha! Not half so not kind as your husband in his portrayal of you.
Why are you doing this?
His image of you is a possessive, fragile neurotic.
-I am a possessive fragile neurotic. -No, you are not.
You are Sally Nash. Listen to me.
You are Sally Nash.
And you're my best friend for twenty years.
And I love you more than anyone.
And you are not gonna move to London
to have the offspring of some sexually ambivalent man-child.
"Oh, now I'm a novelist, now I'm a fucking director."
English prick bastard Joe Therrian, who's probably...
He's probably gonna leave you for Skye Davidson anyway.
Oh, God!
Listen. It's just that he is always one step removed.
He's always looking over his shoulder.
He's always looking for something else, something...
more intoxicating, and I don't mean drugs.
I know.
I love him, Sal.
I do, but he's just... He's a child.
He's not ready.
Oh, God.
You are so lucky that you don't have kids.
You can't stick your head in an oven.
You can't take a handful of Percodan if you want.
You can't slit your wrists, you know?
You can't do yourself in.
Kids just rob you of that option.
They do. Trust me.
Oh, my God. This ecstasy must be really good.
-Don't you think? -I don't know.
Isn't Skye amazing?
She has nice tits.
She's a constant surprise.
-You've only just met. -I know.
She's only twenty-seven, but... the wisdom.
She's an old soul. She got that Shostakovich thing. Did you notice?
-Absolutely. And she has nice tits. -She does have nice tits.
Can't wait to work with her.
Camera loves her. She is a great actress.
With great tits.
I'll ask her if she'll let me touch them.
-I would, yes. -Have you seen Mac?
I think I saw him over there.
-How are you, Clair? -I am so good.
Poor Mac. He's having a bit of a struggle.
I'm sure Sally has told you.
No. What?
The movie.
Well, I think she's really enjoying it. Is Mac okay?
I don't know what's going on. I don't care to guess. She...
Well, Mac is really unhappy. She's just not there.
I don't know what the fuck she is playing half the time, nor does she.
Last week, we shot a scene, and she sobbed
through every take. And, you know, she's a great sobber.
It comes easy to her and it's all terribly moving and whatnot,
but it's a fucking comedy.
Something's gone.
I think she's afraid,
and that is death.
What?
Forget it. I never said any of this. Not important. It's a movie.
Look, you guys are gonna have kids.
That's probably what this is about. You know? You're having
kids. That's so great.
You know, she just doesn't wanna do this anymore probably.
I mean, grownups don't do this for a living.
You guys are gonna have kids. You'll be directing.
One asshole in the family is enough.
I think Sophia knew that intuitively. But get the epidural...
None of this natural childbirth stuff. It's... It's not natural.
Everything will be as it should be.
Jack shall have Jill, naught shall go ill.
Speaking of acting, the role of Leo in your film...?
Leo.
Any casting ideas yet?
I happen to have a small window.
-Leo? -Leo.
Oh, Cal. Leo's twenty-eight.
Scratch out a two, put in a three, and I'm yours.
Scratch out a two, put in a four.
You fucking cunt.
-I'm thirty-nine. -Five years ago.
I was at the party. Remember?
Okay, so I'm too old.
But you could rewrite the novel. Make him an older character.
Then I'd be right.
Who wants... Who wants one of these young idiots with no gravitas?
-You need gravitas. -You got gravitas.
I've got gravitas up the wazoo, baby.
-Young. -Yes!
And rich, spoiled and willful and... What?
-Without, without, without... -Boundaries.
Boundaries. Exactly. Discipline.
Exactly, and then there's the champagne. Way too much champagne.
Oh, there's no such thing.
Here we are, together.
Here we are, together in my room. Isn't it funny?
-No. It's not funny. It's not funny. -You know, when I set
my mind to it, I always get exactly, exactly what I want.
Fuck.
There you are.
No more work. No more. Honey. Honey, don't you feel breezy?
I'm in mourning.
No, no, no, you'll cut around it. You always do. You'll fix it.
-No. Not this time. -If you can cut
around me, you can cut around anyone.
You don't have any clothes on.
How nice for everyone.
You'll fix it. You'll come up
with one of your brilliant ideas.
Or I won't.
I don't know how to help her.
I'm out of my depth.
You're gonna come swimming with me in the pool.
And in a few minutes, you won't even remember what it's about.
What what's about?
I don't know. I forgot what I was talking about.
Are you okay?
I don't think so.
I feel a bit funny.
Let's go for a walk.
Come on.
There.
I've never done this before.
It's easy. You put one foot in front of the other. That's a good girl.
Sometimes, I just feel so miserably invisible.
-What about you? -One time I almost did a movie where
-I could be somebody invisible. -Really?
I would love to see that movie.
Drink lots of water.
And take deep breaths. Nice and slow.
There you are.
Would you like a lolly?
What am I, five?
You're never too old for a lolly. I'm having one.
-Lemon or raspberry? -Lemon.
-Lemon it is. -Thank you.
Ryan's really angry with me.
I think Ryan's really angry with me.
It's really not the same thing.
He was really nicer when he drank.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Eight years though.
It's quite an accomplishment.
-That's a lot of those... -Medallions.
A lot of cakes.
And he doesn't smoke.
He's gotta find nonsmokers' meetings.
Used to be almost impossible. You know?
But it's gotten a lot easier.
How long have you been married?
Nine years?
Nine, yes.
Yeah, nine years, just about.
You must have been a baby.
Yeah, I was nineteen...
Just...
I'm really cold.
Come here.
That feels nice.
I like you.
I'm so glad.
You know...
I recognize that passage in your book.
The bit about us running into each other in the movie theater.
Sorry?
I know that you changed it to a bookstore and my hair color, but...
but the moment was exactly the same.
The same, you know...
Dynamic.
And almost verbatim.
Wasn't it?
For a writer, nothing's sacred.
Nothing at all.
I just think it's great that I made an impression at all. You know?
Otis!
Oh, fuck.
I can't find Otis. I came out of the house, the gate is fucking open!
-Nobody uses that gate. -I know!
I'm sorry.
-There's a fucking sign on the gate. -I'm so sorry.
Don't you read, you fucking cow?
Stop being a bitch, Sal. For fuck's sake, it was a mistake.
-This is not a plot to do in Otis. -Oh, yeah? Don't be so sure.
Listen to yourself. We'll find him. What's wrong with you?
-She left the fucking gate open! -Yes, but he can't have gone far.
Can't have gone far! He's like a greyhound. He could be miles away!
-He'll find his way back. -There are coyotes out here!
Calm down. We won't find him any quicker with you being hysterical.
-Fuck you. -Or shitty.
Otis!
How long have you worked for the Therrians?
For a long time now.
So you were here when they did the work on the boundary fence?
Oh, yes, I was here. The whole time.
Do you know the contractor?
I know him very well.
Was it a contractor?
It's the way they do things, you know.
To code.
What does this idiot want?
I'm sorry. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Did you see permits? Did he have a license?
You should talk to Mr. Joe.
-Ryan? Ryan. -What?
Look, you've gotta come. You gotta help me find the dog.
-I let their dog out. -No, you're not serious.
I left the gate open and Otis got out.
-He could get hit by a car. -Yeah. God willing.
-We have to find the dog, Ryan. -Why?
Because we're nice people. Because what goes around comes around.
Because God help you if something happens to that dog.
All the ugly phone calls. We're not the only ones with a tape recorder.
Okay, they have gone towards the canyon, we should go towards PCH.
All right, all right.
What the hell do you know about Andrey Zhandov?
Everybody knows about the 1948
conference where he persecuted all of the great Soviet composers.
Shostakovich, Prokofiev, and Miask...
-Miaskovsky. -Miaskovsky. Yes.
You know, I'll tell you who doesn't know about that. Cute girls.
They don't know. Trust me.
-Do the Peter Sellers thing again. -Otis.
Where are you in this godforsaken canyon? My people are hungry.
No, it's because I did this movie I just finished called "Babi Yar."
And I play Gittle, this Jewish milkmaid who gets shot in the head.
And they set the whole thing to Shostakovich's 13th Symphony.
-With the poem by Yevtushenko. -Exactly.
So, you know, I did a lot of research and I just really dug it.
So you really, really, really, really like Shostakovich?
Would you marry him?
If he were alive, maybe.
How about someone who really, really, really likes Shostakovich?
Are you asking me to marry you?
No, I'm just seeing how deeply impulsive and perverted you can be.
-Very. -I'm worse.
So you're really twenty-two?
Who told you that? No, I'm twenty-five. I'm twenty-five.
Otis!
This is a nightmare. He should have been kept in the guest room.
It was done. When Sophia put the kids to bed, America brought him in.
It clearly was not done, because he was let out of the guest room
-before Monica opened the gate. -Oh, fuck you.
And fuck Monica while you're at it. I guess that's what I interrupted.
You're the only person ever to take ecstasy and become angrier.
Yeah, let's talk about that. You seem to be rather an expert.
I don't remember the last five months of counseling you ever
mentioning ecstasy or going to rage parties.
Ra...! Rave parties.
That is so typical that you would think it was called rage. Perfect.
What else don't I know about, Joe? Let's get really clear here, okay?
Okay, Sally, so I took a few pills. I went out dancing.
I tired to get over how upset I was about splitting up with you.
I didn't lie to you. I told you about the people I slept with.
I just didn't mention the few occasions when I took drugs
'cos I know how judgmental you are and I'd never hear the end of it!
And I know how little trust and faith you have in me.
Look, Sally, we're back.
I love you.
Just trust that, please.
Don't do this.
Otis, come here!
Come on, good boy. Otie! Come!
I'm not sure we understand that word in the same way.
-What, love? -You walked out of
-a five-year marriage. -That has nothing to do with love.
It's about whether we can live together like this all the time!
-It's not like this all the time. -Do I want anyone else? No.
Do I want to be with you the rest of my natural life?
-I am really trying. -And how hard is it?
Okay, okay. Just stop there, Sally, please. We've been through this.
No, you've been through it.
That's how you love, when it's easy for you and convenient for you.
-You are talking bullshit. -You wanna talk about bullshit?
Lucy called three times this week! Your sister is a fucking mess, Joe!
She is a fucking mess!
She needs you, and I talk to her more than you do!
-That is not true. -It is true.
You know how you love people? You dedicate a book to someone.
Every book I've ever had published I have dedicated to Lucy.
Right. And when was the last time you talked to her?
And how dare you cast Skye Davidson in that part?
Do you have any idea how humiliating this is for me? I'm an actress!
It's based on our marriage, for fuck's sake! Everybody knows that.
It's a novel!
About me!
Who the fuck do you think you are?
The part of Jenna is based on everywoman
I have ever loved in my entire life!
Including my mother!
And also,
the part is quite clearly for a woman in her early twenties.
What are you saying?
Hello? Last birthday was...?
I don't look my age, Joe.
I have never considered you for this part because you're too old for it.
If you think any differently, you are
out of touch with reality. I'm sorry.
-Well, it's a shit novel anyway. -Well, then, I let you off the hook.
-You are one goddamn lucky actress. -All your novels have been pop,
but this one's the shallowest of the bunch, according to all our friends.
If by some fucking miracle
we could have stripped ten years off your face,
there is still no way I could have got this film made,
because my name means nothing as a director,
and your name means fuck all anymore!
And the people who do hire you are scared to
because they think you're phoning it in!
That you've lost every...! Oh, fuck's sake, Sally!
Who? Who thinks that? Who?
The director and co-star of your current movie.
Mac says that?
Mac?
Cal?
-Cal too? -Christ's sakes.
-Is there anybody else I'm missing? -This is insanity. Come on, darling.
-Don't. -Don't push me away.
I had an abortion two weeks ago.
I found out I was pregnant, and it just scared the shit out of me.
Don't do this, Sally.
I told you when we met I never wanted children.
I don't want kids in my life! I told you! We talked about it!
-No, but you changed your mind. -You weren't listening.
-You changed your mind, Sally. -No. I wanted you back.
Jesus Christ.
You think this was to hurt you? It's not about you!
What! You aborted our child!
-That's about me! -Exactly. I'm a monster.
-I'm a fucking monster. -No, Sally. You're just not ready.
You're just not ready yet, that's all. You're just not ready.
Don't make allowances. I will... I will never be ready.
There are some people that just shouldn't have kids.
I would be a terrible fucking mother.
I did want that for us. I did, but I... I couldn't do it.
I just... I don't think I can do it, Joe. I don't think I can do it.
I wasn't part of that decision at all, was I?
I wasn't part of the picture, right? Did I ever occur to you?
This is a fucking disgrace!
You are a fucking disgrace!
I know.
Do you have any idea what you've done to us, Sally?
Do you?
-Do you? -Yes.
I will never... I will never forgi... As long as I live,
I will never forgive you for this.
I know.
I just... I don't even know who you are anymore.
Okay, get out of the water.
I got you, buddy. I got you, man.
Go get Sally!
Damn it!
He's in trouble here, guys.
Fuck.
There you go. You got it, man.
-Honey? -He's okay, Clair.
Just give him some room. Give him some room.
Give him a little room to breathe.
Oh, I must really be stoned.
You're okay, man.
-Honey? -I'm fine, babe. I'm fine.
Just give him a minute, Clair.
Oh, shit!
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Thanks, buddy.
Anytime, sport.
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, pal.
-You're okay. Just breathe. -I'm fine, babe.
What? Just need a minute. I'm gonna take a little walk.
Just forget about it.
Just keep breathing.
What? I mean, it's not like I saw my life flash before my eyes or that.
Probably wasn’t that close.
Probably wasn’t.
You got your lifeguard papers, or...?
-There's a test for that. -Well, forget it, Judy.
Good stuff.
-Honey. -Clair... I'm fine.
Just need a minute.
-Honey? -I'm fine.
Just give me a minute.
Come on. Come on, man. Buck up.
Come on, buck up!
Be a man.
This job.
I can't do anything fucking right!
Hello, Joe, it's your dad.
Can you pickup the phone, please? I really need to talk to you.
Hello, Harry?
No, it's Gina.
Gina.
No, they... they're not here. They went out to look for Otis.
No, it's... It's a dog.
Is... is everything all right?
-No, start again. -It was not overbearing, but it...
I can't find my husband or my beeper. Have you seen either?
Not recently.
I don't... I don't think she's breast-feeding.
What is it?
Let's just go back to the bedroom.
Let's go back to the bedroom, okay?
-Is it Otis? -What happened?
The suspense is killing me.
Harry called.
And?
Lucy overdosed.
But she's... She's all right.
The stupid tart.
Joe, she left a note.
Oh, fuck you.
You need to call your dad.
Look, I booked you a flight. And I've packed you a bag. You just need
to get into a car and go.
Would you leave us alone right now?
-I love her too. -Yeah, great. Thanks for your help.
Would you please just leave Sally and me alone right now?
Everybody hates the messenger.
I'm sorry.
Hi.
How's he doing?
Not good.
He's gonna miss his flight.
Yeah.
Is he not going?
I booked him a flight.
He's not going tonight.
I told his father that he would be on that flight.
Well, you'll have to tell him otherwise.
It was good of you to take the trouble, but he doesn't want to go.
Jesus, Sally, I'm not the enemy.
And you're not the wife.
It's not a contest.
Yeah, you're damn straight.
Should I go back there?
I don't think so.
Should we stay?
We can stay.
Maybe not. Hm?
Great.
So much for ecstasy.
Should we go get the kids?
Oh, my God! God, the sitter.
You just always manage to put things into perspective.
Oh, my God.
...the phone. It's a damn nuisance you're not here, big brother.
Joe, I’d love to talk to you before I go. Please, baby, call me.
I love you madly.
Joe, it's Lucy. Do you remember me?
It's the black sheep here.
Pickup the phone. Come on, pickup the phone.
It's a damn nuisance you're not here, big brother.
Joe, I’d love to talk to you before I go.
I need you. Call me.
I love you madly.
Hello, dad.
Hang in.
I'm home all weekend. Call me if you need anything.
Perfect.
I call that a perfect sky.
-A perfect night. -Damn near.
Damn near perfect drug.
We should do it again.
Just once in a blue moon, you know.
Maybe we should ask them for the number of their landscaper.
You like fucking out of doors?
Not as a rule.
They didn't sign their goddamn tax returns.
Coffee?
Sure.
I'll get it.
You don't have to do that.
It's okay. I don't mind.
Relax.
You've done enough.